Veggie Tigers

“Ho Ho, He He, Ha Ha” The ferocious roaring laughter started to fill up the smoky wintry night of the jungle...The bizarre, comic yet terrifying spectacle of an old tiger rolling on the jungle floor, beating his chest with his own paws, with bits of food cannoning out of the gaps of his old yet potent canines with each squeaky laughter added to the ever increasing bewilderment that the evening was unfolding in front of my now frosty eyes...The old tiger, who looked rather saintly and assuring with warm, calm eyes and long white beard just a few moments back was suddenly looking like a creature out of “wonderland”....and I, like “Alice” was feeling baffled, bemused, little terrified and most importantly little more unsure now...

“Save” HeHeHeHeHe......... “the”.........., HoHoHoHo

“Save the” HeHeHoHoHaHa

“Save the Sher” ... ......Hehehehehh............. “The freaking sher”...

Words mixed with bits of fruit, salad and slobber fountaining from his hysterically laughing crevice.

All esteemed guests that included the who’s who of the jungle, the Lion with his new young wife, the big elephant who seemed to have an eye for the lion’s wife (The Lion did seem a bit old...so...), the cunning jackal, the not so laborious pony along with a few others were going around the well laid out buffet nonchalantly without giving any undue attention to the old tiger’s histrionics as if it were the most conventional behaviour and response to my rather simple question...

This whole convoluted co-existence and orchestrated symphony of hysteria and eerie calm, the divergent and the customary; was making me feel dizzy and to avoid my mind from plunging further into the abyss I focussed my attention again to the surroundings that I was in...

A tennis court size properly manicured pasture in middle of a thick forest with exquisite red, purple and pink wild flower beds adorning its edges...It was completely bereft of any furniture expect for a couple of hay stacks lying casually towards the northern end of the lawn and an enormous, delicately carved walnut wood central table, serving the buffet to the invited guests...The menu looked like a simple affair with a few varieties of vegetable and fruit salads, vegetable broth and sprouts accompanied by fruit juices, mock-tails and milk shakes. There was no liqueur or meat nor any livery to be seen as all the revered guests preferred eating their vegetarian affair directly from the plates or bowls.

The venue was free of any razzle-dazzle or elaborate decoration as one would expect in a regal affair that it was supposed to be except for a large, life size, old portrait that hung on a teak tree on the eastern end of the ground. A rather familiar face, with dishevelled hair, forlorn eyes, thick moustaches and a shabby suit seemed to be overseeing the occasion from that old portrait...He seemed like a scientist that, I guess, I had seen in a school text book but somehow couldn’t recollect the name right now...

“Newton, Einstein ooorrr maybe Edison”...I stood their contemplating the picture and raking my brains...

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The glasses were clinking, the wine flowing and the most exotic and sumptuous food satiating the palate. It was as expected an evening of glamour and grandeur in its full razzmatazz with all the thoroughbred of the city in full attendance...and why would they not be...after all it was the wedding ceremony of the only daughter of the city’s paper king or as he was fondly called the “Paper Tiger”...The atmosphere was resplendent with rich and famous dressed in the most expensive attires and displaying a kind of cock-a-doodle-doo that makes commoners like me feel almost guilty of getting an invite to such a “Page 3” event, and I sure was trying to douse the fire of this very guilt and light up my spirits by consuming generous doses of aqua – vitae “The water of life”...

If I recollect correctly, I was fairly inebriated by the time I saw the guest of honour, the famous media mogul Mr Rai make a royal entry.

His channel “Purani Dilli Tamasha” is regarded as the first professional news channel of the country... Although of late the channel had been facing stiff competition and some financial challenges but it is told that the latest campaign by the channel has resurrected it to its numero-uno position again... “Save the Sher” a campaign to save the regal animal from extinction has garnered huge celebrity support and fan following besides funds and the all important TRP’s...

And most importantly from my standpoint I was told, it has made overnight celebrities out of nobody’s who got associated with it...

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“Dumbo” I heard a sound drawing near “So you are here to become famous and successful” the old Tigers’ roaring voice breaking my reverie...

“Yes...No...Well”

I said in a muffled voice that triggered another fountain of squeaks mixed with following words to escape the gaps between his wearing canines:

“Success is a very morbid thing my friend, its misleading resemblance to merit has always deceived man”...

My slumber must have lasted rather long as I suddenly realized that most of the guests had already left or were preparing to leave barring the old Lion and the big elephant, who seemed to be engulfed in an animated conversation on the far side of the lawn...with the young lioness conspicuous by her absence...

“You Humans only revel in foolish self-importance believing that you have the power to destroy or save a race, a race that has existed on earth much longer than you have” Safeda grunted, gaining back my attention...

“But you, my son, are in luck”, “You, by believing that just being part of this adventure will catapult you to success, have proved beyond doubt that there are no brains in that big head of yours and I like you for that. Therefore, despite having an urgent personal commitment I will enlighten you with the real history of tigers...of our forefathers”

Safeda, the old cat, after getting comfortable on the casually lying haystack started “We have inhabited this planet for over 2 million years, much longer than you humans and being the highest link of the food chain, we have always ruled the roost.”

“What life our fore-fathers had!!!”

And with a distant look in his eyes he continued...

“We were the strongest and the toughest with a kingdom that spread across the entire continent of Asia from the coasts of black sea in the west to the very eastern coasts of Russia. We had conquered the mountains and the plains, the forests and the deserts and even the freezing glaciers of Siberia. So commanding was our presence that not only did we rule animates but also the water and the fire, the wind and the rain, the earth and the sky...We were the start and the end, the part and the whole....We were the Universe and some!!!...

We had it all...Ate whatever we liked, lived where ever we wanted and took as many partners as we wished...In a nut shell we lived a real life...the animal life...Mindless and Joyous and it all continued even much after you humans made your unholy appearance on this holy planet...” beamed Safeda with childlike effervescence...

“But then” his eyes turning grave “It all started to go wrong” “Horribly Wrong!!!”

“Initially it started as friendly competition over prey, piece of forest or a tigress but then it metamorphosed to what I may call the transgression of our souls by “Cardinal Sins”

– The Seven Deadly Sins of “Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride”

“We were fighting bloody wars both open and covert for supremacy that killed hundreds of thousands of our brethren...Some of us colluded with other animals and even humans to gain what we perceived as power and prestige...So corrupted did we get in our heads that we began justifying our most wilful and sinister motives as most appropriate and most unfortunately we ourselves started to believe in what we said...

We stooped so low that the Bengal tiger went to war with the Siberian over the control of the Himalayas, the desert tiger and the jungle tiger fought in the name of faith and worst, the brown and white Tigers fought to prove superiority of the colour of their fur...Complete anarchy , I must say”

He said excitedly and then suddenly fell silent as if his own words were deserting him...

“That sounds so familiar”...I thought...but he seemed to be getting uncomfortable with his own thoughts that sought expression...A sense of shame and a strong feeling of desperation peeped through his white eye lashes that half covered his reticent eyes...

I stayed silent, not by choice but more because of the lack of words, thoughts or actions that I could deem fitting for the situation...I actually felt more dumb than dumbfounded

Gathering courage more than his thoughts, Safeda raised the eyelids from his sad eyes and fixing a gaze on me continued in his baritone...

“We killed each other and lost our paradise, we lost the mountains and the plains; the forests and the deserts; we feared the water and the fire; the wind and the rain; we were no longer the part or the whole; definitely not the start but surely coming to an end...

Safeda raised his eyes heavenwards and after a long pause and a few deep breaths stood up to march towards the eastern end of the lawn with repeated utterances of the word “Messiah” stopping just in front of the old wood laminated poster that hung casually from the old teak and after lighting three sandalwood incense sticks the old white tiger stood in complete reverence and contemplation in front of who I thought was a scientist but now knew was his “Messiah”...The ritual culminated with Safeda saying a silent prayer after seven meticulous clockwise and an equal number of counter clockwise circumambulation of the sacred tree...

With his eyes still fixated on the portrait, Safeda in a calm yet sermonizing tone spoke again, “He is our saviour, our Messiah; the archangel who brought to us the word of God and saved us from the genocide. He is the one who showered upon us the holy Water of Zam Zam to rid us of the evils that engulfed us. A real tiger of a man; our beloved prophet...Sir Albert Einstein (PBUH)”

My jaws fell open on hearing the name... “Einstein???”...

How could he possibly have saved tigers from near extinction...? “Isn’t he the famous scientist who got some great prize for finding something about light?” I wondered...

Seeing me dumbfounded, Safeda smiled the smile of eminence and continued “He is the one who gave us the answer to the life defining questing that faced our race and helped us understand why our race came down from its pinnacle to the door of extinction”

The old cat took a deep breath, smiled the ferocious smile and continued:

“I think the time has come for me to transfer the real knowledge to you my brainless friend...The cosmic secret that saved our race from annihilation and that you humans also need to know to safeguard yourselves from any further mortification” ,“Otherwise very soon, we will have to run a ‘Save the Man’ campaign’” he added with a chuckle.

“We are nothing but animals; brainless but joyous... I say that with absolute pride...and ever-since life has existed and as long as it exists; the only answers that we have sought and will continue to seek are to the fundamental questions of existence...Therefore the only major issues that engulf our conscience are that of food, shelter and a little bit of Looveee” said Safeda and the last word accompanied with a flutter of the white eye lashes of his old eye.

After a brief pause he continued, “We animals can’t care less whether one is from Siberia, Caspian Sea or Bengal; We don’t even notice whether our fur is white or brown; The rule of Himalayas or that of the plains is least of our concerns; Whether someone worships a stone, a formless almighty or no one at all is a respected individual choice in our eyes and therefore never makes anyone blasphemous in anyone’s eyes. We animals just desire peaceful existence where we can get our food, shelter and an ounce of love...and that is all that encompasses our very being”

“Why did you fight those bloody battles then which almost annihilated your race?”

“Because we were lead to do so...” Safeda said with shameful eyes...

“We realized it albeit late that it was just a few among us, the Leaders, who craved kingdoms both earthly and heavenly and the rest of us, the brainless animals, just followed them straight into the mouth of death. They were the ones who had known the power of the “Word” and its many uses and so hypnotic was their speech that complete faiths got actualized for which we were ready to kill and die for”

“And while helping these leaders win their battles we lost our paradise and almost lost our war against extinction but for our kind prophet Sir Albert Einstein (PBUH) who revealed to us the ‘Real Truth’ that paved the way for our resurrection.”

“Einstein??? That baffles me, what answer could Einstein give to you tigers?”

“Relativity, the golden equation of ‘e = mc2’....Yes, that is what he taught us” said Safeda with renewed shine in his eyes

“What???”

“Yes my son, he is the one who uncovered ‘e = mc2’, or simply put; energy = mass multiplied by the square of the speed of light”

I still looked puzzled...furthering his sense of eminence

“The underlying message that he gave us is that the duality that we perceive in energy and matter is nothing but a chimera as they are nothing but one and mere manifestations of the cosmic unity... ‘Monotheism’ Lo and Behold”

Seeing my inability to follow and probably having satiated his hunger for displaying ascendency Safeda finally took pity on me and came down to my level of knowledge or should we say ignorance.

“Let me explain with a example, the food we eat translates into energy that sustains us; part of this energy translates into thoughts that we think as thoughts also are nothing but a manifestation of energy and these thoughts shape us into what we become....Therefore simply put, we become the food that we eat”

“Hmm...”...I replied, “But food? Oh! You mean that your leaders ate some food that inflicted them with the cardinal sins and they became so evil that they almost exterminated their own race?”

"But what food can have such demonic influence???" I wondered

Safeda looked me in the eye, moistened his now parched throat with his own dribble, took in two lung-full deep breaths of cold winter air and then in the most well measured words declared “All the tiger leaders who for their own selfish desires exposed the entire race to the peril of extinction happened to be man-eaters"

A long deep silence in which I could hear my own breath ensued...

Safeda picked up delicious looking ripe red apple and while slicing it spoke again, “We were faced with a choice; either we all needed to develop human brains or all of us needed to become brainless but joyous animals”

And handing over a slice to me while raising the other figuratively before taking a bite Safeda concluded, “And by now, you would have understood the choice we made, and should I say, we are proud of it, but I think it is time for you, my brainless common man, to narrate our history to rest of your friends so that you humans can make your choice before it gets too late.”

"Sure I will" and then as an afterthought I asked "Are there really no more tiger leaders left now?”

“No...Thankfully No” and with those words Safeda stood up to leave but after taking couple of strides, stopped, turned around, winked at me and exclaimed “But then, animals do need at least one benevolent leader!!!” and then continued on his path after handing over a note to me that is reproduced below...

I also set out on my own path that would lead me back to the place where human animals lived but for no known reason kept glancing over my shoulder to follow his trail and the last I saw the old cat was at the door of his cave which was held ajar by the ornate hand of the welcoming and smiling young lioness...

Note:

I take complete responsibility for all the facts and narrations stated above except for the grammatical errors that might have crept in due to the faulty translation of the brainless author...
For any questions or concerns kindly write to me directly
                                                                                                                                            Signed: Safeda

The Poor God...

The hands in the clock were getting ever so close on this lovely Friday night and today they seemed like two blessed lovers who were about to enter a minute of eternal embrace. Although, only a minute is what they will get since the horses of time will pull them away for another hour of wait while the cycle of life keeps repeating itself...

But they seem happy to have this eternal minute to look forward to, where as I have been hopelessly plodding away on my laptop for what seems like an eternity.

I think Albert must have got the idea of relativity while working on a Friday night...The time does slow down and if the work involves making compelling power point presentations while your friends are out at a pub; Mr. Time just comes to a grinding halt.

It is the season of hectic activity...A season that is not ear-marked by the movement of mercury encased in a glass shell but by the quickly receding ink in the stamping pads at the emigration counters. Loads of business visitors from across the world besides visiting Taj Mahal and shopping for antiques, visit our offices and listen to the great stories emanating from the impressive power point presentations that we serve believing that the crucial decision of whether they will do or increase business with us will depend on how impressive the presentation is...Interestingly this season typically coincides with the end of the financial year when the expenses need to be increased to exhaust the budgets...

Now, whether the travel is necessitated by the need to transact business or to exhaust budgets....my guess is as good as anyone else’s...

Anyway, whatever is the reason and whatever be the outcome, I need to make sure that my presentation leaves a positive impression in my bosses’ mind because that is all that will matter when the decision on my future well being and prosperity will be taken.

“Version 13.4”...Little exhausted, I save the file to grab a cup of coffee oops cappuccino...(Coffee sounds so primitive) feeling ridiculous at the number of revisions that this epic had gone through and also trying to recollect all the feedback that poor old version 13.3 had received...

“The data needs to be massaged a little more, we need to represent it in better light and yes we need to be little more economical with the truth”...my superiors voices were reverberating in my head and I wondered how many lies do I need to manufacture to make this darn presentation compelling.

“This is irritating...why can’t we just represent Truth, the Plain Truth and nothing but Just the Truth”...I think in the mind but out of frustration murmur the last words little loudly and suddenly something eerie starts to happen...The floor under me starts to shake, the energy efficient fluorescent lights begin to flicker, the room fills with smoke and strange sounds fill the air...The deserted office suddenly takes the look and feel of a sci-fi movie set.

I am dumbstruck to believe my eyes...My rational mind is confused and too numb to accept what it is seeing...This can’t be real...I am overworked and hallucinating for sure...I rub my eyes, pinch my arms but before I could think another thought, a human figure starts to materialize on the leather sofa placed in the lounge for visitors, not necessarily for the visitors that materialize out of thin air though...and then everything turns pitch dark.

Some water droplets hit against my eyes helping me regain my conscience and an outline of a serene face begins to form in front of them...I Contract the pupils to refocus my vision and see a wrinkled but calm and smiling face looking ever so gently at me...

“Get up Son”...”I am extremely happy with your Penance and Tapasya that you undertook in search of truth and enlightenment and therefore I thought it appropriate to provide you with my divine audience”
The words do not really register as I am busy checking him out...
Tall, fair, long hair, salt and pepper beard, bright eyes though a little sad, ornate, dull golden robes... the bloke looks like a character from one of these mythological sitcoms that run on all TV channels...Although the appearance is not as dazzling...The face is bereft of makeup, The robes look a little worn out and the gold plated ornaments are losing colour...

“Son...I am the God of Truth, You were seeking me and I am here to grace your life” the baritone breaks my thought process...

I am still very confused, He definitely doesn’t look like GOD, “Gods don’t wear dusted robes or worn out ornaments, at least, not in the sitcoms on the telly...And yes they definitely don’t wear rugged sports shoes but he did appear out of nowhere”...My rational and now awake mind is prancing like a horse on steroids... “He for sure must be an impressionist and an intruder”...I try to recollect all Privacy and Physical Security policies that we are always forced to read to find a solution to this potential Security issue that has manifested in front of me.... “Call Security...yes I should call security”

“Son, don’t be confused and you can call security...but they won’t be able to see me, as my audience is restricted to my most ardent devotees only”...

“He is reading my mind and, yes, the security guard that just passed by didn’t notice him...He sure seems to have some super natural power...Is he really God? The Truth God?”

“OH My God!!! He can help me, He can do anything, Get me promoted, Increase my salary, make me successful and yes he can make that compelling presentation for me” My thoughts are again racing, but this time with lot more euphoria...

“I am the Truth God, son; The God of enlightenment; the God of Salvation; The God of Nirvana and cosmic truth: I don’t make presentations, or provide earthly gains, I can help you move out of the cycle of Maya and achieve super consciousness” The Baritone not only breaks my thought process but also my budding dreams of prosperity...My facial expressions change from euphoria to despair, I feel like a child who was promised a toy that was never manufactured.

“I have the worst luck in the whole universe...Out of the 330 Million Gods who roam around the universe, only this dishevelled, gibberish speaking, artificial jewellery clad bloke decided to pay me a visit and, that too, on a Friday midnight when I am working on this damn presentation”...

Suppressing my anger and disappointment I blurt out “Thanks God for your kindness and visit, it was really a pleasure meeting you but I need to get back to work now”

“I can’t leave right now...My minimum appointment is 4 hrs”...”But God, I need to finish my work and moreover I don’t need any of those things that you have...Please let me go now”...I start moving away...
The expressions on his face changes from calmness to sadness and helplessness... “I have come from a long way to meet you, at least show some courtesy and offer me a coffee before I leave”

His almost pleading voice meltes my heart and I anyways want some break from version 13.4...

Sitting in the office compound, we sip on our coffee in absolute silence...His eyes seem to be distant as if wandering in a different world... “Son; things were not like this”...finally his voice fills the ether around us.

By now even I was eager to know what exactly the story was...Why would a God be in such poor condition and most importantly why would HE visit someone like me who never really beckoned him...

Having gulped down the last sip of the coffee, He lights a non-filtered cigarette and begins:

“Long time ago, when the Supreme God conceived the universe, he made a beautiful and rich abode for Gods called Heaven”...His eyes light up... “Those were great days when everything was in abundance and we lived a life of riches and pleasures...

But as you would know son, abundance always brings in callousness, we also, like humans were oblivious to the fact that there is a limited amount of natural resources in the universe...Our population growth rate was very high and in-fact till about 50 years back we even out-numbered our worshippers...Thankfully, the rate has lowered now and we are more or less stable at 330 Million...

But, like humans, the good sense didn’t prevail on us till it was way too late...The greed made sure that the natural resources kept dwindling to a point where the Supreme God had to intervene and make all of us accountable...

A clear economic system was laid out in which all of us got paid in accordance with the set rules and regulations: Our income was directly linked to performance on various parameters like, number of worshippers, our recall value, number of consulting and servicing hours etc

“Consulting?”...I responded a little baffled...

“Yes son, consulting!!!”... “As you would know, humans worship us for gains and ultimately, once we feel that you guys have done enough penance, we pay you a visit and provide consultation on how to achieve what you want...

“Interesting” I thought...

“Initially this arrangement worked well...There was enough work for all of us as earth was inhabited mostly by God fearing humans and in fact I was one of the richest Gods”

Taking another deep puff, his eyes develop a twinkle as he continues, “The demand for me was so high that the waiting time to get my audience used to be as high as three continues lifetimes of penance, and I would never provide more than a few minutes of appointments...Besides, having the highest fan base and recall value, my endorsement earnings also were sky high....I still remember, even your Bollywood used to make movies relating to me...

I had the best robes and ornaments to wear, the best palace to live in, we used to go on vacations to exotic places and my kids studied in the most expensive schools... “What days!!!”

But then, as they say...all good things in life come to an end...the priorities of the earth’s inhabitants changed, you guys became more materialistic, greedy and selfish and my demand started to dwindle...

My fan base started to shrink, endorsements disappeared and the consultation requests became few and far in-between....Such was the impact that I had to sell off my palace, antique ornaments and even my golden robes to feed my family...

I tried everything possible to stay in business, even relaxed the penance requirements to what you did today...just three consecutive utterances of the word “Truth”...but nothing worked and the worst thing is that my poor twin “The Untruth God” who used to feed off my pittance started to get richer and powerful...
Today, he is the most powerful God with huge fan following and consultation demand...Infact to cater to the increasing demand he had to establish 24*7 call centres that are flooded with calls from across the globe.”

His voice started to grow louder “Infact lying and deceit has become such a universal language that his call centre agents don’t undergo any communication, language or accent neutralization training...The callers from across the world just understand what they say...”

Taking the last puff from his fifth nicotine stick, he looks at his watch and suddenly gets up...

“Oh!!! It is almost morning...” he says rather nervously...

“Son...thanks for your hospitality but I need to leave now...and you know what to do in case you want to meet me again”

“Yes...but what is the hurry”

“I am late for my shift son”

“Shift?”

“Yes, I work as a part time trainer in my twin’s call-centre...Ironically he is the only one who still needs me...He and his team need to know the “Truth” before they can “Lie”...and I in return make some extra money to support my family in this inflationary economy” he said running away in those rugged Sport shoes...

Standing there, I see him disappear into the morning, wondering what we humans should do to re-instate the status of our God...The Poor God...

“I sure will become more truthful in future” I promise myself, while switching on the laptop...

First I need to complete “Version 13.4” though....

Chapters from an Untold Story...

Because I do...

It was after a long week, I was back at the place where normally my evenings would transform into the early night...Arched buildings, the foot bridge, leafless trees, cruise boats, evening birds and clouds in the sky; everything looked the same, although, the incessant rain and thunder storms that had kept me away did seem to have added a little bit more golden rust to the handles of the ever so enduring wrought iron bench, adding to its charm and character; the very bench that we used to sit on for hours watching the calm waters of Seine.

The only thing that seemed removed from the other evenings and rather reduced the charm of this otherwise beautiful evening was her absence...She was still angry despite all my attempts to woo her back...Infact the last that I heard from her was almost two days ago; two days, that felt like two eons...Despite being a charmer I had not been able to give a convincing answer to her rather simple question... and the mumbled response had only added to her doubts.

I had been asked this question in my past and it had never proved to be too tough for me....“Wordsmith” of the Spoken word that I was, I had always used it as an opportunity to appeal to the vanity of my lady hence swooping her of the feet, but, this time my words had failed me...

It was a particularly beautiful evening, with orange skies from the setting sun that are rather rare in the ever cloudy autumn. We were perched on this very bench with her pretty face resting on my shoulders...and I, as always, lost in her beautiful mysterious eyes that are a mirror to her soul. They express more than the most adept tongue and I am always intrigued by their depth which I find deeper than the mighty waters of the river on whose shore we were nestled. The river that since eternity has breathed life and love into this magnificent city living on its shores

We were particularly silent that evening, just soaking in the beauty of the nature...In an instinct she clutched on to my hands, smiled the enchanting smile and asked the question...

"Why do you love me?"

Considering it just a tease I smiled and gave a peck on her forehead in response...which didn’t seem to convince her as she repeated the question...albeit firmly now...The smile in her eyes had been replaced by vulnerability and some kind of strange fear that I couldn’t understand properly... the transformation was way too quick for my comprehension...”Because...I” is all that I could muster, before she stood up and started to leave...

“Think about it and we will meet once you know” she said, turning back for the last time before walking away into the setting sun.

And that is what I had been doing for a week ...”Thinking”...

For the first couple of days, my mind had turned blank as I was still pinching myself to check whether it was a bad dream...however sadly it was not and her separation was making me realize the reason for her question and the expression in her eyes...Love is a dichotomous emotion that can make a person feel secure as well as insecure at the same time and she must have felt the same insecurity that I was experiencing now.

I had still not given her a convincing answer but the hopeless hope of love had made me come back to our favourite spot the moment the thunder storms relented hoping to find her waiting for me on this very bench. But I found the bench still cold and wet from the rain...

However there was something inexplicable about this evening...I was feeling less insecure, my mind was calmer and something was telling me that the worse is over and she is going to return and take back her rightful place in my life. I sat there, listening to the soft murmur of the flowing water and the silence of the calm twilight...The light was fading and very soon the night sky had engulfed the city...

Suddenly, I realized that the darkness of the night was showing me something that the light never could. Light by nature is discriminating, hence differentiates. When it was bright I could see the buildings, the trees, the river and everything around me as different entities with each having a unique identity and character, however in darkness the boundaries had become blurred and everything including me had become one big shadow...We had all lost our individual identity and had merged into a larger conscience...

Everything was in perfect harmony...I felt one with the Bench, the trees and the Water in the river..., Infact I was the water flowing in the river, the heart beating in that tree, the golden rust of the bench and all of these were as much a part of my soul...We were all made of the same elements and were merely different manifestations of one unified consciousness. My entire being was filled with peace and Solitude...The darkness had rid my soul of all strife and Insecurity... I was feeling very secure as I realized that I can’t lose her...How can I lose something that is a part of me...and I was beginning to realize the true nature of love which was revealing itself in its truest and purest form.

I started to feel enormous love within and around me. I felt the love of the river for me and for all the beings that it had been breathing life into and I realized that it loved all of us because it just did...It was the nature of the river to love.

I felt the enormous love that the trees have in their bosom for me, for all the travellers who sit in their shade, for all the hungry souls that feed on their fruit, for all the little children who play under them and for all the people who cut their branches to light a fire to keep warm in cold nights...And they loved because they just did...It was their nature...

I felt the selfless love of the bench...It waited each day for me to return so that it could hold me in its lap and shower its love on me...

It is Love that binds all of us in one large conscience...and it is a feeling, an emotion, that just is...It is not something to be understood, as to understand is to question and to question is to not have faith...And Love can’t exist without faith. Love does not exist in the realm of reasoning, it emanates only in the state of super consciousness, where there is no question or causation...Just pure truth and acceptance...

The evening had been extremely generous to me as it had revealed to me the answer that I had been seeking... I was really happy and felt the desire to rush back to her to tell her all about my experience...I started walking briskly on the cobbled road that lead to the place in the city where she lived...The protruding stones of the cobbled street that I would always complain about were no longer hurting my feet as I was light as a feather and they were also a part of my consciousness.

I was visualizing the meeting with her; how I will take her into my arms and tell her all that is to be told...I was seeing the expression in her eyes and suddenly my feet started to slow down as I realized that I still don’t have an answer to her question...I realized that I can never have an answer to her question...Infact there can never be an answer to this question...and she will have to realize that on her own as each one of us needs to go through our own journey to experience what can’t be understood.

I stopped over at our favourite cafe and sipping on our favourite coffee I sent her the only answer that I knew and it read “Because I do...”

Life after Lokpal...

(Following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to anyone is purely co-incidental...The author does not advocate anything...Readers are advised to use their own judgement)

Some loud noises woke me up from my deep slumber...I could hear commotion and a sense of desperation in the voice, but my still inebriated brain couldn’t register what was going on...I had had a few pints too many in the last night party that I hosted to celebrate passing of the “Strong LOKPAL Bill”...It was a great occasion to catch up with all friends and colleagues and celebrate the “People’s victory” which had come after so much struggle and steadfastness. Everybody in the party (I admit after a few drinks though) had accepted that the bill should be christened the “Holy Text” of Indians as it had the highest galvanizing power that any document has had in the history of free India.

Although I must admit, that I did come across a slight disadvantage of LOKPAL later in the night as I had to search for a Taxi post mid-night. I decided against driving as I was afraid that the breath analyzer test will not turn negative for the proverbial 100 rupees. Also, the Taxi Driver seemed to have realized his monopoly and charged me twice the normal fare... (I wonder why we left them out of this all pervading bill)...Anyways my spirits both figuratively and physiologically were still very high as I was looking forward to a reformed India that was about to awaken in a few hours. (For the first time I realized why my grandfather used to get goose bumps while talking about the eve of 15th August 1947, when the atmosphere must have been as filled with anticipation as it is today)

But, the noises that woke me up did not somehow seem to represent the Reformed Nation...I opened my drowsy eyes and tried to focus my attention on the noise...and soon realized that it was my panic stricken wife talking on phone to the neighbour about the second most critical thing impacting the Indian middle class... (First being Corruption of course...although some would argue that the order is reverse) The House Maid

Looks like our newest maid has changed her loyalty for extra 300 bucks...and my wife is complaining about this to her neighbour friend... (A spectacle that happens at least once a quarter)...”I paid her 3000...she used to eat the same food as we did... she was treated like a family member...I don’t remember how many clothes I gave her...and this is how she returns the favour” My wife fumed over the phone... “10% hike, similar benefits”...a good calculated decision...anyone working in the private sector would have taken that....I thought.

More importantly the figure 3000 struck me...Roughly 45 pounds...and my friend who lives in London had told me something a few days ago about the minimum wages policy that they have there to avoid exploitation. And based on some calculations that he did, the minimum salary of a similar domestic help would be roughly 1000 pounds per month. I thought to myself...how lucky we are not to have a minimum wages policy...after all how can I pay 70,000 of my hard earned money for domestic help...although the term “exploitation” was bothering me a little.

What was bothering me more was the hangover and headache and my system needed a nice cup of tea...However I couldn’t muster the courage to ask my wife for the same...after all she had still not recovered from the grave loss and it would have been insensitive on my behalf to ask for a tea in such circumstances...I got up, made some tea and handed over a cup to her as well...She looked calmer post the phone call...we got chatting and started discussing the daily chores...And she reminded me that I need to go to the passport office to file an application for the renewal of my expiring passport. “What a waste of time”...I exclaimed...”Why can’t we get it done through the agent that did it last time for us...”It is not only convenient but cheaper as well”...I reasoned...”He only charges 5000 for a passport, which is lesser than my daily earning that I actually lose if I take a day off to stand in a queue in the RPO”... (I felt a sense of pride while calculating my daily wages...after all they were comparable to what my London friend was earning...and he couldn’t afford domestic help as well...)...She gave me a knowing smile (All wives know that husbands avoid domestic work,..Whatever reason we give) but ultimately gave in.
This is an agent who I had regularly transacted with...All my family and friends’ government and judicial work was done through him...He was a very smart person who not only did your work but also advised you regarding government and judicial matters...And all this with a can do attitude, warm smile and a hearty Laugh...

I called his office but heard a hoarse voice from the other side asking me for my order!!!...My first reaction was...”Wrong Number”. On checking twice I realized the number was right....However, the voice told me that it was a Sweets Shop... (Halwai)...and I couldn’t believe my ears when on enquiring about the agent I was told that “Lalaji is busy frying Samosas”. I felt stupefied...and decided to check on the agent/Lalaji on my way to office to understand this sudden change in his profession and more importantly to find out if he knew of some other agent who could help me...

I parked my car outside the sweets shop where once his office stood...and was ushered in by the ever smiling Agent/Lalaji...His eyes were rather sad though...Over simmering Samosas, Lalaji explained that he had to shut down his flourishing business and move over to this family tradition because the officers in the government offices had stopped working with the agents for the fear of LOKPAL. They were no longer accepting bribes and hence all the agents were out of business...I was stunned...I had never imagined that the reformed India will mean no agents, long queues outside government offices and eventually loss of all convenience that I as a well earning member of the middle class society could buy (read bribe) for a pittance...
With a rather heavy heart and some malice towards reformed India, I went to the Delhi RPO and the scenes outside the building made me numb...There was utter chaos, People were stranded in their cars as no one was providing unauthorised parking (That used to absorb 80% of the vehicular traffic)...There were long queues outside the office waiting for the counters to open...which had not been opened even at 11 am. While I was trying to understand what is happening...I saw a procession of government employees heading towards Ram Lila Maidan...On enquiring with a few of the agitators, I was given to understand that the government employees are planning to stage a peaceful agitation and Satyagraha to demand for “non bribery allowance” because the current salary levels were not enough for them to make the ends meet in the high inflationary environment that has besieged India. And when I asked how can they do that in working hours...an employee shot back...”Lokpal forbids me from taking bribe only...it can’t make me accountable”

Realizing that my passport renewal will need to wait a while, I decided to head towards work, but before I could make my next move, I received a call from my child’s school requesting me to pick her up as the school needs to be closed for the day...Before I could ask for the reasons, I heard some uproar in the back ground and the phone got disconnected...Little worried, I rushed towards the school, still wondering what kind of reform has India gone through.
The compound of one of the best (read costly) schools of Delhi bore a rummaged look ... There were more parents than kids there and I saw the Principal and the Governing Body Members being carried away like criminals in the back of police vans....The picture in front of my eyes was so disturbing that my mind initially rejected to believe it...However it was happening...These esteemed members of the society had been arrested for corruption charges for seeking unlawful fees like donation, capitation, building fund etc for admissions...I started feeling good that something like this was happening as I remembered how I had to withdraw money from my mutual funds to pay for all these fees. However my joy was short-lived as I heard a few parents talking to the teachers and urging them to drop the fee or cancel their children’s admission as they could no longer afford the steep fees structure of the school... (This probably was that strata of the society whose main livelihood was dependent on the parallel economy running in our country...The corruption economy) What really stupefied me was the size of this stratum...There were government officers, small business men, middle men, professionals like lawyers, doctors, engineers, chartered accounts who in unison were feeling the negative impact of reformed, corruption free India on their earning potential.

I picked my child and decided to head back home, as I was too numb to do anything else after what I had seen at the Regional Passport office and now at her school...My brain was spinning as I could not decide whether I should feel good or bad about what I saw. There were too many questions in my head...

- Is corruption the real economy that runs my country rather smoothly?

- Am I also a culprit since I also fuel corruption for my convenience?
Is corruption driven by need or greed or both? If both, then where can we draw a line?

- Is corruption really the only problem? Or is it the multitude of problems like Un-equal distribution of wealth, poverty, Lack of Social Security, Lack of Infrastructure like good public education and health system.

- Most importantly...Can we truly get rid of Corruption without solving other basic issues?

I reached home, curious to know what the news channels are airing on this momentous day, I switched on the TV and heard a reporter talking about a sting operation that had been carried out in the “Lokpal selection board” where the selection committee members were caught accepting huge bribes from potential candidates for the office of the Lokpal...Further in the program the reporter also spoke about how the office of the Lokpal had become the most sought after assignment among administrative officers given the power it had...
I got really restless and thought of requesting Anna ji for help, but his team informed me that Doctors had advised him rest after such a long fast and struggle and we will have to fight this battle on our own...

I was feeling too restless and helpless when suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder....My wife was standing there with a cup of morning tea...”You are getting late”...” remember...you have taken leave from office to go to Ram Lila Maidan today to support Anna ji and Jan Lok Pal”...she said...

And Six Sigma Helped me connect with GOD !!!

Now that I have grabbed your attention with a chic headline, it is time to move to the subject that I really wanted to talk about.
“How is Six-Sigma different from other quality initiatives?” In the numerous seminars, trainings and workshops that I have facilitated on the subject, one question that would always make its unceremonious presence and make me twitch on my feet.
The experience of handling different kinds of audiences and numerous tricky questions over the years helped me give convincing answers but deep inside I knew…I only justified…and more I justified more curious I got to understand the real answer.
The question made its way from noisy classrooms and seminar halls to the silent confines of my bossom creating a noise within.
“All questions have answers” a statement, that I had rather arrogantly shot at my Grandmother as an inquisitive small boy when she could not think of a proper answer to a rather tough question that I had asked, now started to haunt me. My soul was still young and was now shooting the same statement at the seemingly knowledgeable me. Probably this is what wise men call poetic justice…feeling the same pain that we inflict on others.
These were some thoughts arising in my tormented brain on a cold wintry morning and manifesting themselves as drops of sweat on my brow. I let my thoughts wander some more like one does while practicing transcendental meditation hoping to finally be able to meditate on the all vital question that had become the centre of my being. One thought followed the other but none related to the seed question, probably I was not following the basic tenet of the exercise of not to focus on the seed question because more you try to concentrate, further away your thoughts will take you. But could I blame myself for that, how can you detach yourself from a question that engulfs your soul.
While in contemplation the memories of my childhood started playing in front of me and I visualized myself asking the rather tough question to my grandmother “How are religions different from each other when all of them are trying to achieve the same GOD?” I felt rather amused when I realized the similarity between the two questions, most likely the reason my thoughts took me there.
Are the answers also similar? I rather mockingly asked myself, realizing the idiocy of my thought. But has Genrich Altschuller in his famous TRIZ philosophy not said “All of us suffer from Psychological inertia because of which we always search for solutions in our known field of study whereas simple solutions are available in a different body of knowledge. The moment we rid ourselves of this inertia BREAKTHROUGH happens”.
Was I suffering from “psychological inertia”? Should I explore the mystic field to find answer to my question that is related to Quality Management and Statistics? Am I onto something here? Is my guardian angel making me tread this path? Or is it the Devil taking me further away?
While reflecting on these thoughts I felt a calm light emanate from my soul drawing away the darkness in my mind and the answers started revealing themselves. Altschuller was right “The answers to the current questions lie in the solutions of the past problems”.
“All the religions are meant to lead to the same GOD and all of them although seemingly diverse are nothing but a set of narratives, symbols, rituals, belief systems and prayers to meet the same objective. All these might vary from religion to religion but the underlying philosophy of each religion is “Spirituality” which is the discipline and process to achieve Almighty. Seekers can follow any of the well laid out religious paths to attain GOD or just follow spirituality to do the same.”
This answer to the childhood question was now manifesting itself as the answer to my current query.
“All the quality initiatives are meant to lead to the same goal “Excellence” and all of them although seemingly diverse are nothing but a set of narratives, structures, methodologies and systems to meet the same objective. All these might vary from initiative to initiative but the underlying philosophy of each initiative is “Six-Sigma” which is the discipline and process to achieve excellence. Quality seekers can follow any of the well laid out initiatives to attain EXCELLENCE or just follow Six-Sigma thought process to do the same.”
So, I got my answer, Six-Sigma is a thought, a process, a philosophy whose sole aim is excellence. And same thought is the foundation of all other quality initiatives as well. Six-Sigma is not different from other initiatives but the soul and spirit of all of them.
One thing you would have realized that next time I am asked this question in a classroom, seminar or a workshop I will not justify but give an answer, an answer at least I believe in.
One more thing, probably you would have realized by now, “Six-Sigma did help me connect with GOD”