“Save” HeHeHeHeHe......... “the”.........., HoHoHoHo
“Save the” HeHeHoHoHaHa
“Save the Sher” ... ......Hehehehehh............. “The freaking sher”...
Words mixed with bits of fruit, salad and slobber fountaining from his hysterically laughing crevice.
All esteemed guests that included the who’s who of the jungle, the Lion with his new young wife, the big elephant who seemed to have an eye for the lion’s wife (The Lion did seem a bit old...so...), the cunning jackal, the not so laborious pony along with a few others were going around the well laid out buffet nonchalantly without giving any undue attention to the old tiger’s histrionics as if it were the most conventional behaviour and response to my rather simple question...
This whole convoluted co-existence and orchestrated symphony of hysteria and eerie calm, the divergent and the customary; was making me feel dizzy and to avoid my mind from plunging further into the abyss I focussed my attention again to the surroundings that I was in...
A tennis court size properly manicured pasture in middle of a thick forest with exquisite red, purple and pink wild flower beds adorning its edges...It was completely bereft of any furniture expect for a couple of hay stacks lying casually towards the northern end of the lawn and an enormous, delicately carved walnut wood central table, serving the buffet to the invited guests...The menu looked like a simple affair with a few varieties of vegetable and fruit salads, vegetable broth and sprouts accompanied by fruit juices, mock-tails and milk shakes. There was no liqueur or meat nor any livery to be seen as all the revered guests preferred eating their vegetarian affair directly from the plates or bowls.
The venue was free of any razzle-dazzle or elaborate decoration as one would expect in a regal affair that it was supposed to be except for a large, life size, old portrait that hung on a teak tree on the eastern end of the ground. A rather familiar face, with dishevelled hair, forlorn eyes, thick moustaches and a shabby suit seemed to be overseeing the occasion from that old portrait...He seemed like a scientist that, I guess, I had seen in a school text book but somehow couldn’t recollect the name right now...
“Newton, Einstein ooorrr maybe Edison”...I stood their contemplating the picture and raking my brains...
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The glasses were clinking, the wine flowing and the most exotic and sumptuous food satiating the palate. It was as expected an evening of glamour and grandeur in its full razzmatazz with all the thoroughbred of the city in full attendance...and why would they not be...after all it was the wedding ceremony of the only daughter of the city’s paper king or as he was fondly called the “Paper Tiger”...The atmosphere was resplendent with rich and famous dressed in the most expensive attires and displaying a kind of cock-a-doodle-doo that makes commoners like me feel almost guilty of getting an invite to such a “Page 3” event, and I sure was trying to douse the fire of this very guilt and light up my spirits by consuming generous doses of aqua – vitae “The water of life”...
If I recollect correctly, I was fairly inebriated by the time I saw the guest of honour, the famous media mogul Mr Rai make a royal entry.
His channel “Purani Dilli Tamasha” is regarded as the first professional news channel of the country... Although of late the channel had been facing stiff competition and some financial challenges but it is told that the latest campaign by the channel has resurrected it to its numero-uno position again... “Save the Sher” a campaign to save the regal animal from extinction has garnered huge celebrity support and fan following besides funds and the all important TRP’s...
And most importantly from my standpoint I was told, it has made overnight celebrities out of nobody’s who got associated with it...
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“Dumbo” I heard a sound drawing near “So you are here to become famous and successful” the old Tigers’ roaring voice breaking my reverie...
“Yes...No...Well”
I said in a muffled voice that triggered another fountain of squeaks mixed with following words to escape the gaps between his wearing canines:
“Success is a very morbid thing my friend, its misleading resemblance to merit has always deceived man”...
My slumber must have lasted rather long as I suddenly realized that most of the guests had already left or were preparing to leave barring the old Lion and the big elephant, who seemed to be engulfed in an animated conversation on the far side of the lawn...with the young lioness conspicuous by her absence...
“You Humans only revel in foolish self-importance believing that you have the power to destroy or save a race, a race that has existed on earth much longer than you have” Safeda grunted, gaining back my attention...
“But you, my son, are in luck”, “You, by believing that just being part of this adventure will catapult you to success, have proved beyond doubt that there are no brains in that big head of yours and I like you for that. Therefore, despite having an urgent personal commitment I will enlighten you with the real history of tigers...of our forefathers”
Safeda, the old cat, after getting comfortable on the casually lying haystack started “We have inhabited this planet for over 2 million years, much longer than you humans and being the highest link of the food chain, we have always ruled the roost.”
“What life our fore-fathers had!!!”
And with a distant look in his eyes he continued...
“We were the strongest and the toughest with a kingdom that spread across the entire continent of Asia from the coasts of black sea in the west to the very eastern coasts of Russia. We had conquered the mountains and the plains, the forests and the deserts and even the freezing glaciers of Siberia. So commanding was our presence that not only did we rule animates but also the water and the fire, the wind and the rain, the earth and the sky...We were the start and the end, the part and the whole....We were the Universe and some!!!...
We had it all...Ate whatever we liked, lived where ever we wanted and took as many partners as we wished...In a nut shell we lived a real life...the animal life...Mindless and Joyous and it all continued even much after you humans made your unholy appearance on this holy planet...” beamed Safeda with childlike effervescence...
“But then” his eyes turning grave “It all started to go wrong” “Horribly Wrong!!!”
“Initially it started as friendly competition over prey, piece of forest or a tigress but then it metamorphosed to what I may call the transgression of our souls by “Cardinal Sins”
– The Seven Deadly Sins of “Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy and Pride”
“We were fighting bloody wars both open and covert for supremacy that killed hundreds of thousands of our brethren...Some of us colluded with other animals and even humans to gain what we perceived as power and prestige...So corrupted did we get in our heads that we began justifying our most wilful and sinister motives as most appropriate and most unfortunately we ourselves started to believe in what we said...
We stooped so low that the Bengal tiger went to war with the Siberian over the control of the Himalayas, the desert tiger and the jungle tiger fought in the name of faith and worst, the brown and white Tigers fought to prove superiority of the colour of their fur...Complete anarchy , I must say”
He said excitedly and then suddenly fell silent as if his own words were deserting him...
“That sounds so familiar”...I thought...but he seemed to be getting uncomfortable with his own thoughts that sought expression...A sense of shame and a strong feeling of desperation peeped through his white eye lashes that half covered his reticent eyes...
I stayed silent, not by choice but more because of the lack of words, thoughts or actions that I could deem fitting for the situation...I actually felt more dumb than dumbfounded
Gathering courage more than his thoughts, Safeda raised the eyelids from his sad eyes and fixing a gaze on me continued in his baritone...
“We killed each other and lost our paradise, we lost the mountains and the plains; the forests and the deserts; we feared the water and the fire; the wind and the rain; we were no longer the part or the whole; definitely not the start but surely coming to an end...
Safeda raised his eyes heavenwards and after a long pause and a few deep breaths stood up to march towards the eastern end of the lawn with repeated utterances of the word “Messiah” stopping just in front of the old wood laminated poster that hung casually from the old teak and after lighting three sandalwood incense sticks the old white tiger stood in complete reverence and contemplation in front of who I thought was a scientist but now knew was his “Messiah”...The ritual culminated with Safeda saying a silent prayer after seven meticulous clockwise and an equal number of counter clockwise circumambulation of the sacred tree...
With his eyes still fixated on the portrait, Safeda in a calm yet sermonizing tone spoke again, “He is our saviour, our Messiah; the archangel who brought to us the word of God and saved us from the genocide. He is the one who showered upon us the holy Water of Zam Zam to rid us of the evils that engulfed us. A real tiger of a man; our beloved prophet...Sir Albert Einstein (PBUH)”
My jaws fell open on hearing the name... “Einstein???”...
How could he possibly have saved tigers from near extinction...? “Isn’t he the famous scientist who got some great prize for finding something about light?” I wondered...
Seeing me dumbfounded, Safeda smiled the smile of eminence and continued “He is the one who gave us the answer to the life defining questing that faced our race and helped us understand why our race came down from its pinnacle to the door of extinction”
The old cat took a deep breath, smiled the ferocious smile and continued:
“I think the time has come for me to transfer the real knowledge to you my brainless friend...The cosmic secret that saved our race from annihilation and that you humans also need to know to safeguard yourselves from any further mortification” ,“Otherwise very soon, we will have to run a ‘Save the Man’ campaign’” he added with a chuckle.
“We are nothing but animals; brainless but joyous... I say that with absolute pride...and ever-since life has existed and as long as it exists; the only answers that we have sought and will continue to seek are to the fundamental questions of existence...Therefore the only major issues that engulf our conscience are that of food, shelter and a little bit of Looveee” said Safeda and the last word accompanied with a flutter of the white eye lashes of his old eye.
After a brief pause he continued, “We animals can’t care less whether one is from Siberia, Caspian Sea or Bengal; We don’t even notice whether our fur is white or brown; The rule of Himalayas or that of the plains is least of our concerns; Whether someone worships a stone, a formless almighty or no one at all is a respected individual choice in our eyes and therefore never makes anyone blasphemous in anyone’s eyes. We animals just desire peaceful existence where we can get our food, shelter and an ounce of love...and that is all that encompasses our very being”
“Why did you fight those bloody battles then which almost annihilated your race?”
“Because we were lead to do so...” Safeda said with shameful eyes...
“We realized it albeit late that it was just a few among us, the Leaders, who craved kingdoms both earthly and heavenly and the rest of us, the brainless animals, just followed them straight into the mouth of death. They were the ones who had known the power of the “Word” and its many uses and so hypnotic was their speech that complete faiths got actualized for which we were ready to kill and die for”
“And while helping these leaders win their battles we lost our paradise and almost lost our war against extinction but for our kind prophet Sir Albert Einstein (PBUH) who revealed to us the ‘Real Truth’ that paved the way for our resurrection.”
“Einstein??? That baffles me, what answer could Einstein give to you tigers?”
“Relativity, the golden equation of ‘e = mc2’....Yes, that is what he taught us” said Safeda with renewed shine in his eyes
“What???”
“Yes my son, he is the one who uncovered ‘e = mc2’, or simply put; energy = mass multiplied by the square of the speed of light”
I still looked puzzled...furthering his sense of eminence
“The underlying message that he gave us is that the duality that we perceive in energy and matter is nothing but a chimera as they are nothing but one and mere manifestations of the cosmic unity... ‘Monotheism’ Lo and Behold”
Seeing my inability to follow and probably having satiated his hunger for displaying ascendency Safeda finally took pity on me and came down to my level of knowledge or should we say ignorance.
“Let me explain with a example, the food we eat translates into energy that sustains us; part of this energy translates into thoughts that we think as thoughts also are nothing but a manifestation of energy and these thoughts shape us into what we become....Therefore simply put, we become the food that we eat”
“Hmm...”...I replied, “But food? Oh! You mean that your leaders ate some food that inflicted them with the cardinal sins and they became so evil that they almost exterminated their own race?”
"But what food can have such demonic influence???" I wondered
Safeda looked me in the eye, moistened his now parched throat with his own dribble, took in two lung-full deep breaths of cold winter air and then in the most well measured words declared “All the tiger leaders who for their own selfish desires exposed the entire race to the peril of extinction happened to be man-eaters"
A long deep silence in which I could hear my own breath ensued...
Safeda picked up delicious looking ripe red apple and while slicing it spoke again, “We were faced with a choice; either we all needed to develop human brains or all of us needed to become brainless but joyous animals”
And handing over a slice to me while raising the other figuratively before taking a bite Safeda concluded, “And by now, you would have understood the choice we made, and should I say, we are proud of it, but I think it is time for you, my brainless common man, to narrate our history to rest of your friends so that you humans can make your choice before it gets too late.”
"Sure I will" and then as an afterthought I asked "Are there really no more tiger leaders left now?”
“No...Thankfully No” and with those words Safeda stood up to leave but after taking couple of strides, stopped, turned around, winked at me and exclaimed “But then, animals do need at least one benevolent leader!!!” and then continued on his path after handing over a note to me that is reproduced below...
I also set out on my own path that would lead me back to the place where human animals lived but for no known reason kept glancing over my shoulder to follow his trail and the last I saw the old cat was at the door of his cave which was held ajar by the ornate hand of the welcoming and smiling young lioness...
Note:
I take complete responsibility for all the facts and narrations stated above except for the grammatical errors that might have crept in due to the faulty translation of the brainless author...
For any questions or concerns kindly write to me directly
Signed: Safeda
